I Love Status Updates

I Halve A Spelling Checker

I halve a spelling checker;
It came with my pea sea.
It plainly marks four my revue,
Miss stakes eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word,
And weight four it to say,
weather eye am wrong oar write;
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid,
It nose bee for two long,
And I eye can put the error rite;
it’s rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it;
Eye am shore your pleased two no,
It’s letter perfect awl the weigh
My spell checker toll me sew.

REDNECK LOVE POEM
Susie Lee done fell in love,
she planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy bout it all,
she told her Pappy so.
Pappy told her, Suzie gal,
you’ll have to find another.
I’d just as soon yo ma don’t know,
but Joe is yo half brother.
So Suzie put aside her Joe,
and planned to marry Will.
But after telling Pappy this,
he said there’s trouble still.
You can’t marry Will my Gal,
And please dont tell yo mother.
But Will and Joe and several mo
I know is yo half brother.
But mama knew and said, my child,
just do what makes you happy.
Marry Will or marry Joe,
you aint no kin to Pappy.

I said to Happiness that, “If you come then I will smile”, and Happiness kindly said to me that, “If you smile, then I will come”.

When I’m on my death bed and everyone is sitting around me,I want my last words to be: I buried the money behind the…